I’m a Big Loser!

Kim Reis

The season of Biggest Loser is coming to an end and I’m still 5 or 6 episodes behind.  It’s so frustrating because I really want to watch it.  There are just too many reality TV shows right now and I’m having trouble staying caught up.  It’s softball/baseball season, so we’re at the ball field for hours on end.  I wonder if I can bring my TiVo to the game someday??  HA HA HA!

Anyhoo - it makes me think about TiVo etiquette.  Or DVR etiquette.  You see - my cousin came over this weekend and she said, “Can you believe what happened on Biggest Loser last week???“  I put my fingers in my ears and started singing LA LA LA LA LA!  I didn’t want her to spoil it for me.  But it’s not HER fault that I’m so many weeks behind.  I mean, seriously.  5 weeks behind???  You might as well forget it.  I’m caught up on Hell’s Kitchen and Celebrity Apprentice and even THOSE shows are spoiled to me if I don’t watch them right away.  I MUST watch Idol right away because I KNOW the morning radio shows will ruin that show for me.  They always play clips and then they announce who was voted out.  Sometimes I wish people wouldn’t spoil it and then I realize that I’m ridiculous.

As if I don’t have enough stress in my life with two kids, a husband without a job, a stressful job working in the media, the economy, bills out the wazoo.  And now I have to stress myself out over TiVo for heaven’s sake??  TV is supposed to de-stress.  It’s supposed to be enjoyable.  When I look at my TiVo menu and see that long, long, long, long list of shows - I get all stressed out.  I think I’m 14 episodes behind in “All My Children” episodes.  How am I gonna catch up on that?

OK - sitting on the bed, “criss-cross applesauce”.  {BREATHE - BREATHE}  Kumbaya…

Now I feel better….Ahhhhh.  I’ll just turn on the TiVo and start plugging away.  One show at a time.  I’ll get through it.  WHAT???  What’s that???  I KNOW I didn’t wet the bed!!!!  And I’m not pregnant, so my water didn’t break.  Why is the freakin’ bed ALL WET?????!!!!  MANNY!!!!!  The waterbed sprung a leak!!!!  Aw great!!!  So there won’t be any shows tonight.  Garden hose out the window - may day!  may day!  We’re going down!!!  Out to Cardi’s to look for a new mattress.  What the heck???!!!  I can’t win in this life!

And - before you ask.  Yes——we still had a waterbed!!  {Gurgle gurgle gurgle}