Sunday, August 31, 2008

Road Trip!

Kim Reis

The weather has been so nice and the reality TV show season has been a bust!  So, instead of writing about a reality TV show, I’m going to write about a REAL road trip that I went on with my 10-year-old daughter this weekend.

So, Madison & I went on a road trip yesterday to see her friend in Athol, MA.  Now, being a Rhode Island-uh, when I am preparing to drive 2.5 hours in one direction, I get a little freaked out.  That’s a really long way!  So we packed snacks, lots of music CD’s, the GPS, printed directions and games for Madison to play in the car.

Anyway, we were cruising down Rte. 495 singing “MAMMA MIA” when all of a sudden a huge bird flew right into the front of my car.  We heard the loud THUD and we made a loud EWWWW noise.  I looked in my rearview mirror and didn’t see the bird rolling around on the highway - in which I figured was not a good thing. There was really no safe place to pull over, so we kept driving for about an hour, not knowing if the little birdie had left any damage.

We took our exit and found a safe parking lot to survey the damage.  When I walked around to the front of the car, I shrieked because the damn bird was sticking out of the grill!!!!  It was lodged into the friggin grill!!!  And this was not some tiny sparrow.  This bird was at least 10” long.  It wasn’t a crow or seagull, but it was freakin’ huge!!

I was so freaked out and couldn’t even look at it, nevermind pull it out!!  We got back in the car and we were laughing, crying and throwing up in our mouths all at the same time.  I called my husband and we were talking so loud and so fast that he could barely understand us.  All he could say is, “Are you OK?“  I knew I had to get rid of the bird, but I really couldn’t do it.  I couldn’t even LOOK at it for goodness sake!

We started to drive down these rural roadways when we came upon a roadside vegetable stand.  I figured a brave farmer would have seen dead birds before and would be able to help me.

Behind the counter was a rugged guy in his late 20s.  I asked him to help and said this was an “odd request” to which his response was, “I’ve seen everything.“  He walked outside and, when he saw the thing sticking out of the front end of my car he screamed like a woman and ran away from the car.  I begged him to help me.

The nice farmer grabbed a hooded sweatshirt, wrapped the bird and plucked it out of my grill.  Thankfully, no damage.

Of course I gave him a nice fat tip!

What did I learn from this experience?  No more road trips alone with Madison!  HA!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Talent is BACK!

Kim Reis

America’s Got Talent is back with a vengeance!!!  Tuesday night was fierce with cloggers, singers, impersonators, and some really weird guy who dances at bus stops.  Here’s how I see it:

Little Derrick Barry (AKA Brittany Spears).  Great impersonator - not worth a million.  And what was up with the Hoff’s rear end.  He stitched his name on the butt of his jeans??

Little Jessica Price sang “Time After Time”.  She’s beautiful, but flat as a pancake.

The drummers - trying to copy Blue Man Group.  Not worth a cool mill.

I think the best performance of the night was Neil Boyd.  That boy can SING!!!!

So glad AGT is back!!!

Friday, August 22, 2008

Reality is Dead this Summer

Kim Reis

Sorry that it’s been so long since I’ve written.  Reality TV really hasn’t been all that inspiring this summer.  I know, I know.  Everyone keeps telling me - “What’s more of a reality than the Olympics??!!“  But I don’t know, I’m just not into it.  I like the reality TV with the crazy people acting like idiots, trying to become famous.  I watched a little bit of the Olympics and they really are amazing athletes.  But I can only watch for so long and then my ADD gets the best of me.  I was watching one day when a girl running the hurdles misstepped and fell on her head.  I know this sounds awful, but I laughed.  And then they kept showing the replay over and over.  And I kept laughing.  I’m the person who laughs when someone falls and I’m not sure why.  It’s horrible!  I try to control it and can’t help it.  I felt so bad for her and yet, I kept laughing.  Oh well.  What’re ya gonna do?

The only show that I have kept up with is Big Brother 10.  Michelle (the real estate agent from RI) is doing pretty well.  A few weeks ago, she lost it when she found out she had to wear a red, skin-tight leotard for a week and I was afraid she put a huge nail in her coffin.  But so far, she has redeemed herself.

The showmance between April & Ollie is over.  April went buh-bye.  So dumb!!!  Showmances kill ya every time.  But Ollie is such a GREAT GUY!!!!  I hope he does well.

The show ended last night with the remaining contestants swinging on a vine, suspended in mid-air.  Who ever can last the longest will become Head of Household.  When the show ended, the vines started swinging and started banging them into a soft wall.  OUCH!  Can’t wait to see who becomes HOH.  This will really disrupt the entire house.

I watched a few episodes of The Mole.  Didn’t do much for me.  I have the final episode on my TiVo.  Wonder who the Mole was?

I cannot WAIT for America’s Got Talent to come back on.  And - Biggest Loser starts in 9/16!!!!