Friday, April 04, 2008

Solo on the Subway

by Teresa

Did you see this story?  A columnist from the New York Sun, Lenore Skenazy, wrote about how she let her 9-year-old son, Izzy, find his own way home on the subway.  She said he’d been begging her to let him try it, so she gave him $20 in cash, a Metrocard and a subway map, and sent him on his way.
And what happened?  Nothing, she says, except that Izzy came home feeling independent and proud!  (To read her column, click here.)
Needless to say, the column has attracted a lot of commentary.
Some, who were horrified by the idea of a child alone in New York, called Skenazy a bad mother.  Others went so far as to say she should face charges for child abuse. 
The criticism didn’t seem to bother Skenazy much, as you can tell if you watch her appearance on NBC’s Today Show (click here).
She points out that her son, who sat next to her on the Today Show sofa, is perfectly fine after his “adventure”—which actually consisted of taking one subway train, and one bus.
The Today Show’s “parenting expert” told Skenazy there are better ways to let a child learn to be independent that aren’t as dangerous.
Some people in the newsroom here have had strong reactions to the story, one way or another. 
Personally, I think I have to reserve judgement on this one.  If there’s one thing I firmly believe, it’s that parents know their own children best.  Some kids mature more quickly than others.
As for my family—I think I’d be too nervous to let my kids take the subway alone at that age.  But then, we don’t live in New York City.  The subway certainly isn’t something they’re exposed to on a daily basis.  They’re not at all familiar with it.  Whereas Izzy Skenazy has probably been on the subway thousands of times.
And certainly, I agree with Skenazy that while it is our duty to try to keep them from harm, we shouldn’t over-protect our children.  She has a valid point, there.
And while the Today Show “expert” has a point that there may be safer ways to foster a child’s sense of independence…  some of Skenazy’s critics are just flat-out irrational (the ones crying “child abuse”).
There is, however, one thing about this story that bothers me.
Skenazy gave Izzy quarters for pay phones in case he needed to call her for help.  (My first thought was: “Really?  Will he be able to FIND a working pay phone, these days?“)
She said she didn’t give him her cell phone, because she was afraid he would lose it.
Now, I THINK she may have been joking when she made that comment.  At least, I hope she was.  Because, surely, a child that can’t be trusted with a cell phone should not be left to fend for himself in the city.